No 2 - Loneliness makes for the best nostaligia

9 years ago today I was sitting in a hostel room watching the sunset in Quito with my flight home only hours away
I thanked Ecuador for all the solitude and unknown
I wondered if I’d ever return

Summer night makes me miss that big empty spearmint room with the closet door with a window on Cedar street in Somerville.
It was always too hot to sleep
and yet it all seemed possible.
Late nights, lonely nights, sleepovers, peeking into neighbors house 6 feet away. Oh the city came make you feel so lonely yet always
on the verge of greatness

I had acupuncture today in an old house on South French Broad. I walked in and my breath stopped for a moment I was back in El Paso bright eyed - the energy of starting a midwifery program in  fall. The smell of chaparral and the vastness of Texas. I wanted to cry on night shifts I was so lonely and heartbroken and tired but alive

looking at life - looking at the Universe asking “who am i?"